Today’s running theme through my head has been money, money, money. The one thing I wish you didn’t really need to be able to live in this world. Everyone says with money comes happiness but I just think that’s bullshit to put it quite frankly.
Yes, you do need money in order to do certain things but no one should let that restrict or hinder them from doing the things they want to do. That isn’t the point of this post though so maybe we’ll come back to that another time.
Right now I’m in the midst of what I always describe as the most stressful weeks of your college career. The final week of classes before the hell that is finals week and packing up to return home for the summer. This year it is particularly stressful because on top of finals and moving out I am also juggling work, this blog, presents (for my mom & for a friend who is graduating), and various events that I committed to in the next week. These “various events” include a Red Sox game on Thursday night (I don’t even like baseball), driving a friend to her interview on Friday, a 90s bar crawl on Saturday and a doctor’s appointment in the city on Monday.
You may be wondering why I’m going to a Red Sox game if I don’t even like baseball and the answer to that is simply it was free and all of my friends will be there. Like the good ole saying goes: if it’s for free, it’s for me. It took a lot of convincing to actually get me to commit to going but I didn’t think I would be doing anything else this week so I thought it would be nice to have a little bit of a fun before finals. Well…now that I’m going to this bar crawl it looks like I’m going to be having a lot more fun than I was originally intending.
Okay let’s get back to this money thing. I definitely consider myself to be a saver. Like 100%, no doubt about it, am I a saver. I save basically everything I get from work (which isn’t much considering I have a work study job) but then we have to account for the fact that I have the upkeep of my car (gas, oil changes, the like), my prescriptions, rare coffee trips, alcohol runs (because let’s be real it’s college we all know it happens), and other expenses. And I hate spending money on myself. I would much rather spend money on a present for someone over treating myself to a $3 iced coffee. So this month has been particularly trying for me mostly because I’ve been treating myself more. Example: this bar crawl I’m going on cost $30 and while I am happy to be going and treating myself my brain is also like “well hello you have more important expenses this week”. I’m not like most college kids, I know where your head is going, that thought process isn’t an “oh, I don’t have the money for that,” but rather a thought of “I have the money but I just really don’t want to spend it.”
In all honesty I have a really good chunk of money right now. Probably way more than you would expect someone at the age of 21 to have when they are a full time student with only a work study job. I save literally everything. I barely touch the majority of the checks I do get unless it’s for something that has to happen like buying clothes because I’ve grown out of what I have or if I need food and even then I’m so stingy. It takes so much out of me to justify buying myself food! It’s honestly a little much, trust me, I know.
So this month has been difficult because it has consisted of 3 friends birthdays, birthday dinner, spring weekend (lots of alcohol), food shopping (because I went vegan and sometimes my school just doesn’t have food for us), an oil change and even more to come. The even more to come I just mentioned ah yes that includes the following: Starbucks tomorrow (because for once I’m treating myself while I work on finals), transportation to/from the bar crawl, my mom’s birthday, parking for my doctor’s appointment on top of the copay, the expenses of driving home, and then it’s Mother’s day. Yep, there’s a whole lot going on for me right now. It doesn’t help that I have a $100 check from my grandma that has yet to be properly sorted because the ATM people (I don’t know the actual name for them) only come to settle the machine once a month. And of course it was at the very beginning of this month that I tried to deposit this check when the machine ate it. Hopefully the bank will be coming to settle the machine in a day or two and then that check will get processed just in time to seriously help me out in justifying all of my expenses.
I’m not sure really what this post is supposed to be other than me just rambling about my weird thing with money and how stingy I can be when it comes to spending on myself even when I know I have quite a bit of money under my belt. I guess I just needed a space to talk about it in some way that gets it more or less out of my head. I don’t know if anybody else is like this with their money. Honestly most of my friends are riding on the thin line of having under $10 in their bank accounts. And then there’s me who would be beyond stressed and anxious about that. Even when I first got a bank account a few years back I never ever let my account get under $100, I couldn’t even imagine having just $10 in my account.
Okay at this point I just need to stop talking, or writing, about it and go do something to chill out before bed. I’ve got a busy week ahead of me but I’m quite confident that I’ll be able to make it through just fine. And after that I have the wonderful bar crawl to look forward to in addition to returning home to hopefully get a solid summer job.